Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
