Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
