im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The Olympian is in my bed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
