you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
