I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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