this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize