i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize