He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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