Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
