my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
jump out the window naked night went bad
we should paint friendship bongs
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