Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
