cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
