u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
