god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
