I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You ruined the universe
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
