Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
