Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
