oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
