Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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