It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
