If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
