So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
