it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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