I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
