the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
