Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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