apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
