I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
