i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
