You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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