Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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