I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
