I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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