sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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