tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
