Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize