First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
