somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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