I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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