I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize