I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
