dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
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He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
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I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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