these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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