I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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