Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
