Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
