its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
