this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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