You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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