Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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