She is in my trunk
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize