Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
