Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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