Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
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I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.