Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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(248): I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts http://tfl.nu/hn1f

Replies (7) Good night (2826) Bad night (758)
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(480): View more from Arizona

She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like

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(480): She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like http://tfl.nu/mlp3

Replies (54) Good night (11379) Bad night (1465)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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(402): next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first. http://tfl.nu/nkj3

Replies (6) Good night (4810) Bad night (1059)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun

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(905): Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun http://tfl.nu/uh6g

Replies (13) Good night (2824) Bad night (1385)
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(217): View more from Illinois

her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...

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(217): her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name... http://tfl.nu/e8r1

Replies (18) Good night (1091) Bad night (4730)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?

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(519): I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right? http://tfl.nu/a685

Replies (14) Good night (2924) Bad night (1642)
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(801): View more from Utah

stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation

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(801): stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation http://tfl.nu/ct0r

Replies (16) Good night (2720) Bad night (1423)
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(631): View more from New York

figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.

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(631): figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard. http://tfl.nu/oj4g

Replies (5) Good night (2243) Bad night (1167)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?

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(520): Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago? http://tfl.nu/8k0d

Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (582)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.

(513): View more from Ohio

It has been happening a lot lately.

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(330): I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me. (513): It has been happening a lot lately. http://tfl.nu/53io

Replies (3) Good night (1366) Bad night (457)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.

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(910): Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit. http://tfl.nu/w0fz

Replies (8) Good night (1856) Bad night (512)
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(585): View more from New York

I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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(585): I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in. http://tfl.nu/1xha

Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (582)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.

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(402): Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop. http://tfl.nu/dwia

Replies (2) Good night (551) Bad night (306)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me

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(479): I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me http://tfl.nu/cdlh

Replies (7) Good night (1034) Bad night (364)
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(714): View more from California

someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.

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(714): someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults. http://tfl.nu/sjq2

Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (727)

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