Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Why? Who won?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  we don't know. we ran out of oranges.

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  (440): I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges. (1-440): Why? Who won? (440): we don't know. we ran out of oranges. http://tfl.nu/wlmn
  Replies (1) Good night (1643) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.

  (1-619): View more from California

  i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!

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  (619): Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning. (1-619): i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth! http://tfl.nu/6amj
  Replies (9) Good night (1696) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.

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  (806): So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs. http://tfl.nu/g178
  Replies (36) Good night (4145) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"

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  (302): So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned? (443): I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me" http://tfl.nu/og83
  Replies (72) Good night (778) Bad night (3898)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I think we should see other people.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Already working on it.

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  (207): I think we should see other people. (1-207): Already working on it. http://tfl.nu/a8l6
  Replies (12) Good night (6025) Bad night (1647)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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  (832): im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate http://tfl.nu/io2z
  Replies (20) Good night (1352) Bad night (3450)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.

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  (704): You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view. http://tfl.nu/adtw
  Replies (5) Good night (2642) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.

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  (402): You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement. http://tfl.nu/xw5k
  Replies (14) Good night (4508) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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  (313): My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar http://tfl.nu/fy9n
  Replies (6) Good night (3266) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

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  (707): Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god http://tfl.nu/bbiq
  Replies (9) Good night (1606) Bad night (1503)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard

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  (780): I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard http://tfl.nu/fp3r
  Replies (7) Good night (886) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?

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  (773): What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again? http://tfl.nu/duvn
  Replies (7) Good night (1958) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!

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  (713): WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?! http://tfl.nu/7tg4
  Replies (10) Good night (561) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?

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  (620): I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough? http://tfl.nu/xi1b
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.

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  (804): The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette. http://tfl.nu/rkzr
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (171)

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