I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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