Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

come over anyways, right now, right this second

(850): View more from Florida

it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

(561): View more from Florida

wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

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(850): come over anyways, right now, right this second (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation http://tfl.nu/cwsr

Replies (28) Good night (837) Bad night (3020)
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(416): View more from Ontario

She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.

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(416): She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic. http://tfl.nu/pwae

Replies (10) Good night (3368) Bad night (1458)
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(510): View more from California

I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

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(510): I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/ez0g

Replies (13) Good night (8636) Bad night (583)
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(660): View more from Missouri

Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...

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(660): Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville... http://tfl.nu/5ia7

Replies (26) Good night (533) Bad night (3714)
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(941): View more from Florida

Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?

(1-941): View more from Florida

Wow! You need to get laid.

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(941): Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits? (1-941): Wow! You need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/yl4s

Replies (47) Good night (696) Bad night (5847)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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(812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo

Replies (15) Good night (7344) Bad night (901)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

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(404): Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while. http://tfl.nu/n1x9

Replies (24) Good night (5321) Bad night (1333)
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(512): View more from Texas

After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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(512): After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game. http://tfl.nu/rksq

Replies (8) Good night (3462) Bad night (1069)
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(330): View more from Ohio

that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning

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(330): that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning http://tfl.nu/x1eb

Replies (2) Good night (912) Bad night (1721)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Get you some cowboy.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

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(832): Get you some cowboy. (832): In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself. http://tfl.nu/cgrb

Replies (6) Good night (936) Bad night (351)
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(213): View more from California

you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say

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(213): you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say http://tfl.nu/62ic

Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (342)
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(845): View more from New York

YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE

(1-914): View more from New York

YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.

(845): View more from New York

I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER

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(845): YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE (1-914): YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING. (845): I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER http://tfl.nu/t573

Replies (7) Good night (1953) Bad night (342)
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(925): View more from California

You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there

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(925): You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there http://tfl.nu/g2al

Replies (3) Good night (858) Bad night (325)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.

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(316): Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try. http://tfl.nu/jxdr

Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (449)
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(703): View more from Virginia

To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.

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(703): To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads. http://tfl.nu/17wa

Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (313)

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