Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

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(727): View more from Florida

writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.

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(325): View more from Texas

just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

bring money and cleavage

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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(801): View more from Utah

we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious

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(804): View more from Virginia

They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.

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(630): View more from Illinois

On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be

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