My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
