Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

Fav 15 1027 2718
share tweet
(858): View more from California

Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

Fav 10 4100 1065
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

Fav 15 1298 4131
share tweet
(712): View more from Iowa

the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout

Fav 14 5248 1015
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.

Fav 7 6685 1359
share tweet
(626): View more from California

Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.

Fav 7 4477 1889
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store

Fav 8 4925 1147
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?

Fav 1 842 477
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!

Fav 3 347 368
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT