She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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