Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
