I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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