You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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