ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
