his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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