It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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