I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
