Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
