During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would fuck him just for his dog
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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