I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
