DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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