What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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